just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
