i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
