I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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