Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
