fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Success! We fucked roommates!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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