I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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