If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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