just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
