I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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