I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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