Tell her she can't have a vagina
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
