We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
