Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
