I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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