the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
