when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize