Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
