What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I want her autograph on my taint
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
