I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize