I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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