They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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