what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
His nipple licking is glorious
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