Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
