dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
