It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
