what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
