On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
