I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
