She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
