Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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