so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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