Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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