I'm really into asian looking animals
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
