he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
