Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.