Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
