Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
