I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just google imaged poop.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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