Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
