Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
