I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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