Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
