Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize