Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
