Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
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when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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