did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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