my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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