You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
