Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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