i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
