He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
