I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize