so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
