I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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