I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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