just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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