I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
