It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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