Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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